It's raining outside. A typhoon is drenching the city, Frank daw pangalan. Same name as my first girlfriend. Francesca, pero ayaw patawag ng Iska. Frank. Upak ang isasagot sa iyo pag tinawag mo siyang Iska, Francesca, or Frances.
Why do I find myself like this when it rains? Nostalgia brings on a flood of memories that in the past would have made me smile. Now it just makes me want to hole up in the sofa and watch some Indian Bollywood film. Ganun katindi ang tripping ko pag depressed.
I miss Althea. I think her absence from this apartment makes the rainy nights more unbearable.
Dati, we'd find ourselves in bed or reading novels together pag umuulan. Pa-deliver lang ng food, tapos balik to whatever we were doing. Minsan, usap about anything and everything. Minsan, scrabble, or chess. Umuulan din nun nung pinagusapan namin yung pagpunta niya sa States.
In between thinking about my current life, and my history, lagi andoon si Althea. Siguro, yun yung curse of loving someone you grew up with. Walang part ng buhay mo na wala siya, walang time na hindi siya kasali. Lahat napagawayan niyo na, napagusapan niyo na. Which made her leaving even more difficult, kasi for the first time, gagawa ako ng memories na hindi siya kasama, except as a postscript at the end of the day when you email or call her to tell her about all the wonderful things na nagawa mo that day, or nangyari that day. Yun lang. Whereas before, lahat ng plano mo kasali siya. Kung wala siya, buti pa icancel mo na lang.
Ito ang problema sa Pilipinas. Kung di ka namamatay sa init ng panahon, namamatay ka sa depression.
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